The Promise That Could Come Back to Haunt You

Advice and Help : The Promise That Could Come Back to Haunt You

It's not too hard to imagine this situation - maybe you've already been in it. Your aging mother leans over in a serious moment and says to you, "Just make me this one promise - that you will never put me in a nursing home".  It's pretty hard to say no to this request anytime, but if your parent is already showing signs of deterioration, it might be harder.

Everyone who has ever been in a nursing home can see why the elderly are afraid of nursing homes. The smells, the sounds, the often-pathetic individuals - they can make even the most caring facility look bad.  But there is another reality, the one explored in this thoughtful New York Times piece, "The Promise: Assisted Living or Nursing Home".  

Some people will eventually have no choice but to go to a nursing home, barring round the clock intensive care at home.  Incontinence, yelling, wandering, or aggressive behavior can mean that assisted living facilities will no longer care for the person.  Only a nursing home is set up to provide the necessary care. And if you have made a promise to avoid nursing homes, you will be in a position of guilt. We recommend the Times article, it has some excellent thoughts on the dilemna.